Stop feeling guilty about clothes you don’t wear

Pale Pink peonies in the background. In the foreground is the blog title, "How to accept yourself"

Stop feeling guilty about clothes you don’t wear

How many of you have clothes you don’t wear in your wardrobe?  It’s not just me is it?

I have a couple of items in my wardrobe that are too small for me and don’t fit me.  I don’t wear them, but I keep them.

One is a beautiful printed navy silk wraparound dress.  I absolutely love it.  Only problem is I have only worn it in one period of my life where I lost a lot of weight suddenly and unintentionally.  I bought the dress at the point where I might have been my slimmest.  Everything was smaller: my bust; my waist; my hips.

Fast forward 13 years on and the wraparound dress no longer fits me.  It doesn’t wrap around at all.

Three thoughts about clothes that you don’t wear because they don’t fit

I decided to keep it and either intentionally slim back into it, or wait until I accidentally lost lots of weight, without trying, again.  Occasionally I would try it on and wonder if I could wear it (no).

Then I had an idea that I could remodel it.  Take it to pieces and reconstruct it, so I could wear it.  It would be quite time consuming to do, but I love the fabric so it seemed like a great solution.

I just realised that it had to go

Then, I looked at it a few weeks ago and realised that it has to go.

Much as I love it.

It doesn’t fit me.

It will take a lot of time to remodel it, with no guarantee that it will either suit me, or that there is enough fabric for the remodelling.

I’m going to sell it online.

Someone can buy it who will fit into it.  And wear it well.  And love it.

And I can earn some money and put it towards something that does suit me, that does fit me.

When I realised that I didn’t have to keep it,

I realised that time had moved on.

I had moved on from that time.

And that’s ok.  In fact it’s a beautiful thing.

background image of pale pink peonies. Title of pin says, How to accept yourself just as you are

Holding on to the past

And then I realised that what I was doing was holding on to the past.

Which meant I couldn’t let the present in.

Let alone the future.

My brain was thinking, “One day I’ll lose a little weight and tone up those legs and get back into the dress I wore in the past”.

And now my new question to myself is, “Why not lose a little weight, tone up those legs and buy something new?”

Why not look forward and create a new future with a great dress in it?

Rather than dragging the past into the present.

The past is gone.

I don’t need to relive it.  And neither do you.

The lovely, navy silk wraparound dress served its purpose, in its time.  Thank you gorgeous dress, you are free to go now.

Leaving me here.

And I don’t have to lose weight or tone up if I don’t want to.

I can just accept myself as I am.

[There’s a novelty for us.]

Today, in these clothes – cream wide leg trousers, white tee, pale blue cashmere cardi, (which fit me) pale blue painted nails – I am completely acceptable to myself, and accepting of myself.

I don’t need to do anything.

Just accept myself.

Seriously, stop feeling guilty, and beating yourself up, about clothes you don’t wear

Sometimes we use clothes as a means of chastising and berating ourselves.  And we don’t realise we are doing it.

We think, “I’ll keep that and get back into it again one day.”

It seems like a practical plan.

But what is really going on?

Are we actually saying, “You’ve failed because you’ve put on weight and can’t get into your favourite clothes?  So, until you can fit back into them, you shouldn’t buy anything else and I’m going to keep you here in the past, and stop you moving into the future.  Where you might possibly enjoy your life.  Without beating yourself up.

background image of pale pink peonies. Title of pin says, How to accept yourself just as you are

Clothes you don’t wear , don’t fit you, but you are holding on to

So, what have you got in your wardrobe that you are holding onto?

What items don’t fit you any more?

What piles have you got of items that you are holding onto that on a day-to-day basis, you totally forget about.  Until you find the pile every so often, and feel guilty.  And think, “Right I’ve got to get back into that”.  And put it away.  Until the next time you find it.

After the dress incident I found some jeans.  Even when I bought them, they were tight.  Best worn when you are going to be standing, rather than sitting.  They just have to go.  They are so tight I can barely zip them up. And I’ll just get some that fit me better.

Feelings of guilt around throwing away clothes you don’t wear

I do feel guilty about throwing things away, about land fill and fast fashion.  But I have had those jeans and that dress for 13 years.  I got the wear I needed out of them, they served their purpose.  And now, they’re off, with life still in them, to the charity shop, or to be sold online, or given to a friend.

Maybe you feel the same.

Guilty about throwing things away.

Don’t feel guilty.

If they are still serviceable, sell or donate them.

One woman’s leech is another woman’s lily, is a phrase used I think in the context of relationships.

But we can repurpose it in relation to our clothes.

Donate your leeches and they will be the lilies in someone else’s wardrobe.

So.  What are you going to get rid of?

What do you have that is going to free you up to live in the present?

With which item(s) of clothing are you beating yourself up?

Do you think like I did, that you can somehow alter the past and the present by holding onto clothes you don’t wear and somehow freezing time?

Hoarding time

I feel it’s like hoarding time.

I’m so determined not to let go of it, to hold on tightly to the time in the past, in order somehow to freeze time.  And say, “I want to go back there, where I wore that dress.  And felt safe.”

But now I can let it go.

It can go.

What is it going to be for you?

That jacket that doesn’t do up?

That skirt that is far too tight?

Those jeans that you can’t sit down in?

It’s ok to let go.

And then look forward and plan something beautiful to wear that you love and wear all the time.

Have a great day!

Sarah

 

 

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