You like the idea of change, but don’t actually change
Statistics and anecdotes show and tell us that while many of us desire change, few of us achieve it.
So this got me thinking. Because everything I do, whether it’s with the clothes at Working Frocks, or the personal styling and wellness development at The Stylish Wellness Institute, it is all about change, growth and transformation. It’s all about helping you get real results in your life that are impactful enough to improve your life and instigate measurable change.
Do you know when you are ready for personal transformation?
But if the statistics show, and New Year’s resolutions are a good example, that we like the idea of personal transformation but are unwilling to stick with it then my question to myself and then to you is, ‘Do you know when you are ready for personal transformation?’
By ‘ready’ I mean when are you at the stage that you’ll stick with it, see it through?
I think that the 2 steps that we need for lasting change in our lives are these:
I think we need them both. And having both of them present is what will guide you towards powerful lasting change.
How dissatisfied are you?
I think most of us are motivated or, rather, inspired positively.
We see something we like or want or we are positively motivated towards it.
For example, you like the idea of improving your appearance, of feeling better, of having a wardrobe full of clothes you love and feeling like you deserve them.
These are all positive thoughts.
But what will get you to the point of effective personal transformation is not necessarily the positive thoughts you have along the lines of, “Wouldn’t it be nice if….”, but the negative thoughts you have, “There is no way I am going to tolerate X any longer.”
Negative thoughts are necessary for personal transformation
The negative thoughts are the ones which will keep you dissatisfied enough to make a lasting change.
The negative thoughts are the ones which keep you up at night thinking.
The negative thoughts are the ones which say, “This is not the life I want and I’m going to keep going until I get the life I want.”
The negative thoughts are the ones which make you more determined to get up early in the morning to exercise because you are so fed up with being unfit.
But, to go back to positive emotions, once you’ve determined to get up early to exercise or stick to the diet, or change jobs, or throw out all your clothes and start again, the negative emotions won’t be enough.
You’ll need to encourage yourself and put yourself in a positive emotional state. It’s that state that can help you accomplish anything you put your mind to. But you also need to feel uncomfortable, because change makes us feel uncomfortable.
Being uncomfortable is not a negative emotion but will feel negative, at first, maybe for a while. Being uncomfortable is the currency of change and personal transformation.
So the grit in the oyster is that we like the idea of personal transformation because we can imagine how great we will feel when we have undergone the process of transformation.
However the process of getting to that state of personal transformation is not at all comfortable and does not feel great in any way at all.
There is still a healthy role for positive thoughts to play. Once you have used your negative thoughts to motivate you into action and you’ve accepted being uncomfortable, then you will need many positive thoughts to help to keep you going and also to help provide the change or personal transformation that you really desire.
Positive use of affirmations
Affirmations are an often used method of introducing positive thoughts into a challenging situation. Your positive thoughts will help you endure the zone of being uncomfortable and help you accept and embrace the source of your dissatisfaction and accompanying negative thoughts.
There is a difference between intentional positive thoughts and those first positive, motivating thoughts you have when you first contemplate embarking on a project of change.
Once you have embarked on your process of change, try and ignore the voice in your head that will give you informative but unhelpful information in order to get you to stop what you are doing. You can use the ‘STOP’ skill to help you manage your thoughts. Rather than rely on that voice, rely on the plan that you have created for yourself and use your affirmations and positive statements to superpower your initial negative thoughts.
Emotional thoughts are phrases like, “It’s too early to exercise, have a bit longer in bed.”, “A slice of cake is ok, you deserve it.” “Definitely have a glass of wine after the day you’ve had.”
All change is hard
You might underestimate exactly how hard change can be. You might think that making the decision to change is the hardest part. But really the hardest part is executing the change. By relying on both the positive and negative thoughts, you can navigate successfully towards change.
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Finally, let me tell you a little bit about Wardrobe Journaling. It is the process I have created that helps you understand yourself better through journaling and through thinking about the clothes you wear and your own unique personality. There are Wardrobe Journaling blog posts over at the Wardrobe Journaling website. There is also the entirely unique Wardrobe Journaling course. If you want to take a step further into your own self development and self care this is a great, gentle but powerful course to take.