Style Advice to help Working Women look amazing every day
Style Advice: Nothing to wear? It could be your emotions
How often do you go to your wardrobe, take a look inside and your heart sinks because you feel you have nothing to wear? Or maybe you don’t want to wear what’s in there because it seems dull, or you’ve worn it forever? This may happen on a daily, or regularly recurring, basis. For example, at the weekend, when you make that transition from weekday to weekend clothes, you might not think about what you really want to wear. As a result you just wear the same outfits again and again. What you might be doing is projecting your own emotional state onto the clothes in your wardrobe and making yourself feel worse in the process. Do you need style advice? Read on:
The Unhealthy Ping Pong of Negative Emotions
We should not hang up our insecurities, frustrations, disappointments or anger on our wardrobes. Neither should we hang up any other negatively charged emotion onto our inanimate clothing. This can lead to a very unhealthy game of ping pong with our wardrobes. What happens is we feel bad, we go to our wardrobes where we don’t like what we see. We pull out an outfit “which will do”. We wear it and feel uneasy, bad about ourselves. The next day we start the day slightly more out of sorts than the day before and the same sequence plays out again.
The result of Numbing our Feelings
When we don’t address our feelings, we often try to numb them. Classic ways in which we numb our feelings are eating too much, drinking too much, smoking or taking drugs. And sometimes, when we are stuck in pain numbing, we wear the same clothes again and again and end up in the ping pong situation which I described above. So, not only are we pain numbing, but each time we open the wardrobe we are compounding the situation by repeating the pattern.
Does any of this resonate with you? If yes, and I believe it applies to many of us sporadically, then read on for 3 style advice tips which will help you get your relationship with your clothes back on track. The advice tips are designed to give your brain a rest, which will make you feel more relaxed. This in turn will give you the space you need to feel good about yourself and what you wear.
Not only could you save a lot of money which you might have spent on unwise impulse purchases bought when you thought you had nothing to wear. You will discover other added benefits too. Through these 3 style advice action points you may also improve your relationship with your clothes, get your emotions back in check and receive some much needed inner peace.
Style Advice Problem 1: I have Nothing to Wear
When we feel down about ourselves we sometimes declare, “And I have nothing to wear!” Well you do. You most probably have a wardrobe probably brimming with clothes. It’s just that you don’t want to wear them. Or your brain has put up a barrier to you wanting to wear them.
Style Advice Solution 1: Stop the Chatter in your Head
The trick here is to find a variety of clothes to wear, plan when you are going to wear them and then forget about it. Put yourself on clothes autopilot for a week. Plan your outfits and then forget about them. Just wear them each day for a week. You’ll have a much better week than previously because you’ve stopped the negative chatter. In addition by the end of the week you’ll have worn different outfit types and not given a second thought to not having anything to wear.
Style Advice Problem 2: You Wear the Same Clothes All the Time
Are you wearing the same clothes again and again, even if you do not particularly like what you are wearing? Are you choosing not to wear a large percentage of your clothes? This may tell you that something is going on in your head that you’re not acknowledging or not addressing.
For example, recently I put on a little weight, not much, but enough to make a difference: I felt uncomfortable in myself, my clothes were a little snug and I didn’t look my best. Unintentionally I started wearing only a small selection of clothes and as a consequence felt even worse. I was cutting off one of my chosen means of self expression, which made me feel quite low emotionally. When I realised what was happening I took action which I can recommend to you too:
Style Advice Solution 2: Address the issue and Look After Yourself
Go through your wardrobe and pull out a few items of clothes which you have not been wearing but which would be easy to wear. If you have been wearing an outfit consistently for 3 weeks or more the make a deal with yourself that you can only wear it once a week for the next four weeks. Then make a list of what you are going to wear for the first week and stick to it. Don’t think about it.
The other aspect that is very important is that you look after yourself. Self care is always important and especially so in times where you may be inclined to beat yourself up emotionally. For the next week make sure you diarise looking after yourself. This can take whatever form you like. It could be an exercise class, a long bath, a facial, a manicure. Try and fit in one a week for three weeks. You are sure to notice a different to how you feel about yourself.
You’re not Accessorising or doing your normal grooming routine
Most of us wear jewellery or other accessories such as scarves, hair pins, to complete our outfit. If you do not wear any accessories at all then this category may not apply to you. However, if you normally enjoy accessorising but have stopped doing so then the following may apply. Once you’ve got dressed, you don’t want to check yourself in the mirror and see that you look good. You want out. You’ve got dressed and that’s enough to face the day. Or, you normally have a regular grooming routine, however simple, but it has stopped. It might be enough to face the day but it might be a sign of unhealthy emotions projected by you. You don’t want to take the time for grooming.
Style Advice Solution 3: Reset your Routine, attach it to an existing habit
It’s so easy to get out of a routine and so hard to get back into it. One way to get back into your routine is to attach the behaviour you want to readopt to an existing habit. Not accessorising or being stuck in a rut of wearing the same accessories is the behaviour you would like to readopt. Attach this behaviour to an existing, automatic habit such as getting dressed, or brushing your hair. Each time you brush your hair, find an accessory to wear. You will find yourself readopting the accessorising habit very quickly. Soon after readopting the habit, you will discover the enjoyment you used to have each time you undertook the activity.
Ok, there we have it. Quite a long post, but I hope you found something of value in it. You may have learned something about yourself along the way. You may have been able to remove a barrier that had been in the way fora while. I’d love to know how this article may have helped you. Please spare the time to let me know in the comments box below as I’d love to hear from you.