How to find your personal style in 3 easy steps

Updated 5th April 2022 – How to find your personal style in 3 easy steps

3 easy steps to find your personal style

Personal style is the unique visual expression of every person, reflecting who we want to be and who we are. We can change our personal style as our lives change or if we decide to embody and present a new or different aspect of our character.


Today’s blog post, “How to find your personal style in 3 easy steps” will show you how to develop your own unique style and wear clothes you love.  

How to find your personal style: It’s easier than you think

Great personal style is an achievable goal for all of us.  Personal style, that accurately reflects who you are and your character, is easy to achieve because it’s fundamentally all about who you are. It might feel a long way out of your reach, but by following our 3 step plan you will see how easy it is to step into your own unique personal style.

If you dress according to who you think you are and how you want to live your  life then firstly you’ll feel really good in your skin.  Secondly you’ll want to wear clothes that reflect how good you are feeling.

When you engage at that level, of feeling good and wanting to look good and enjoying your clothes, your personal style will flow effortlessly out of that emotional state.

You will discover that how to find your unique personal dress code is as much about finding you as it is about choosing clothes to wear.

So, if you:

Want to improve your look;

are fed up of the same personal style you’ve had for years;

don’t know how to make a change that will suit you;

are worried that you will make costly mistakes or spend time you haven’t got

then you have come to the right place. Let us guide you through this 3 step process that will get you feeling good and look amazing in no time.


This blog post covers:

A 3 step easy guide to find your personal style:

  1. The Who and What exercise
  2. Seeing yourself as your identity
  3. Integrating your new identity 

Plus in addition the post will introduce you to The Zone of Peace: What it is and how to create your own zone of peace when you find your personal style.


your personal style

How to find your personal style: the zone of peace 

Personal style is important because it is one way in which we non-verbally communicate our character to the world.

If there is a correlation between what is going on in our heads and hearts (the inner you) and what is going on in the way we express ourselves in the way we dress, (the outer you) then there is peace.  In fact, I’ve called it the Zone of Peace.

It’s the place where the inner you meets the outer you and there is agreement between the two and peace reigns.

So, if you find yourself feeling that you need a personal style restart or that you’ve lost your way and want to get back to feeling and looking as great as you once did, you need to get back to this zone of peace

Our 3 step strategy can be done during a coffee break. It’s simple and effective and will get you right back in that Zone of Peace.  Not only that but it will probably get you excited and re-energised about being who you are and what you want to wear and nailing your personal work style.

Read on and let’s dive straight in with the first step.


your personal style

How to find your personal style step 1: Who and What

Take a piece of paper and divide it into two through the middle.

    1. Title one side “Who” and the other side “What”. On the “What” side write out all the activities you ‘do’ when you are being something to someone else. This is the list of what we are to other people: wife, mother, carer, secretary, doctor.
    2.  In the second column, the “Who” side, write down the activities that you undertake when you are being you.  It could be volunteering, exercising, painting, dancing. They can also be purely descriptive rather than functional categories.  For example, ‘ballet fan’ featured in my who list as did ‘experience maker’. It can also be work, there is nothing wrong with that and one activity can be entered into both columns.  For example, ‘mother’ may feature in the ‘what’ column because it is a function where you are acting out a certain role  It can also be in the ‘who’ column though as for many women, being a mother is a foundational experience and they identify with it and are happy to identify with it very much.  Your work can feature in both columns.  This list should not take long to compile, 10-20 minutes.

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How to find your personal style step 2: Seeing yourself as your new identity

Now, find a quiet time and place where you will be undisturbed.  Pick 1 item from your “who” category.  Remember this is the category that is about being who you are, not what you are.

    1. Take 10 minutes to see yourself being that identity,  Envisage what you are doing, who you are doing it with.  Imagine where you are, how you are feeling.  Imagine yourself enjoying that activity.
    2. Now imagine what you are wearing.  It may be quite surprising to you but you may actually see this picture appear quite quickly.  If it does appear quite quickly, write it down.  Imagine how your hair is, what jewellery and accessories you are wearing.  Imagine your hair colour, your make up, even your scent.  Imagine it all before you and enjoy the picture you are seeing in your mind.  Wait with the picture until you have a strong image in your mind, it might be like a video, with or without sound.  It might involve other people.
    3. Make a note of where your mind goes.  When you have a strong image in your mind, write down all the details of it that you can remember.


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How to find your personal style step 3: Integrating your new identity

The final part of the exercise is to then choose one item from your “what” list.  We are gong to translate all those positive feelings and great images from your ‘who’ picture over to one of your ‘doing’ activities.  So, for example, as your ‘what’, choose your job.

    1. Picture yourself again in your ‘who’ phase, the one we did above.
    2. Then when you have got right back to where you were before, picture yourself at work, you should have two images of yourself in the picture at the moment.
    3. Let the ‘who’ walk over to that ‘what’ and let them become one.
    4. Now imagine yourself as the ‘what’, the ‘job’ you.  Now, start to picture what you are wearing how you are going about your every day work activities in your job, from the perspective of the ‘who’ you.  What does your hair look like?  What shoes and accessories do you have?  What jewellery are you wearing?  Stay with this picture as long as it takes to get a full picture of you.  Fully enjoy the picture, enjoy being there, imagine that it is your best day at work.
    5. Now open your eyes and write down everything that you saw.  If you need to or would like to, shut your eyes one more time, to pick up a little more detail or to get a fully rounded out picture of this ‘what’ you in your job.  Let this take as long as it needs, but not more than 30 minutes.  Stay focussed but relaxed.  If the exercise only takes 10 or 15 minutes that is absolutely fine.  You don’t want to fall asleep or start thinking about what to eat for supper.


Personal style is unique to you

And there we have it.  A quick, but really effective, method of discovering your unique dress code.  Remember that your personal style is exactly that, personal to you.  It won’t do you any good to borrow someone else’s.  So it’s worth taking the time to acquaint yourself with your personal style.  In the process you will become more confident, both at home and at work.  Your wardrobe dilemmas will also lessen, to the point where they  may disappear altogether, thanks to a greater understanding of what your personal dress code is.

Your Personal Style – Quick Recap

The previous blog post in this series: What to wear to work and how to always get it right covered 3 steps to nailing your work style every day.  I mentioned in the facebook live that if you did not know how to dress from your personal character then I would cover that today. So this is where we are today: How to find your personal style. 

This series of blog posts are all part of a deep dive into the How to look amazing every day mini e-book.  So if you have not downloaded your own copy yet, why don’t you do that now and use it to keep track of how your style improves and how you gain in confidence as you being to understand yourself better.

In addition to reading this post don’t forget you can watch the fb live at the end of this post.


If you would like to read similar posts then why not try:

How to find your unique style

What to wear for fun. Do you have a zany outfit in your wardrobe?

Why you think you have nothing to wear and how changing one simple attitude can help you look and feel amazing every day without spending a penny (also wins award for longest blog title ever!)


Don’t have your own copy of the Look Amazing every day guide?

Download it here.  No charge, it’s free.  And fun.  And easy to implement.  And restores self esteem.  

Remember, wear what you love and love what you wear.  I’ve given you the tools above, now it’s time to go and enjoy yourself!



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The Stylish Wellness Institute is a membership group for women who want to learn to look good and develop their personal style and feel well in the process. It is for women who want to have the courage to be the person they have been created to be. Come and join us.

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