Why do we find that so hard to believe?
This weekend was busy with the family. I was trying to stay on top of keeping the house tidy, have a good fun time with the children and carve out some quality down time for me. I was also experimenting with a 4 hour chunk exercise where you divide the weekend into 4 hour chunks, allocating a different group of tasks to each 4 hour chunk. So 9am-1pm Saturday was household and family chores and errands; 1-5pm was family time; 5-9pm was time for me. It went quite well, but by yesterday afternoon I was SO tired, and burst into tears when the boys asked to go on another bike ride (not my finest hour), and I just didn’t think I had the energy, plus was surveying a house that seemed impervious to the 4hr tidy up slot I had allocated it. Yesterday evening I watched a Marie tv video with Colleen Saidman Yee, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpWbESrIAPc) where quoting a Jason Isbell song lyric, “Cover me up and know you’re enough”, she said, “You are enough”. She then went on to say, “If one woman would stand up and tell her story, the whole universe would break open”.
“You are enough” is a great line, and it is a challenging one too because it requires us to be honest about who we are and where we are. I’m not superwoman, I’m me: parenting the children as best I can; working; shopping; planning; cleaning; and tidying up as best as I can. And that has to be good enough, because I am enough. Why, though, do I find that so hard to believe about myself? Why do I think I am NOT enough? And why do we try and hide our feelings of inadequacy? Is it through guilt, or fear, or shame?
Colleen is right, each time one of us stands up and tells her story, the whole universe breaks open. What is your story? How can you be authentically yourself with yourself, or with friends, or with me as you’re reading this, in a way that frees you and allows you to be you? I seem to have spent a lot of time recently on my weaknesses: making them stronger; better; faster, attempting to make my life more efficient and much more productive. By focussing on my weak points: structure in my work life, tidying up at home, being organised generally, I think I’ve lost sight of what I am good at: creating, visioning, problem solving, reading, having ideas…and because this is an uphill struggle, it makes me feel th