How do we know who we are? How do we connect with who we are? Howdo we knowwhat is really us, and what is a bolt-on part, needed to negotiate life, people or circumstances?
I have had two situations recently which have helped me to get in touch with me, topull thatinner reality out, to give me the confidence and self assurance to be me.
The first was during some time spent on my own. Idecided during that time to walk morning and evening (rather than run). For me, these were prayer walks timeto get in touch with The Truth. I’m sure they work equally well as meditative walks or contemplative walks. The purpose is time set aside to allow the mind and heart to become still. And out of that stillness comes all sorts of wonderful things: a new perspective, a once lost confidence, a decision to change courses. This stillness for me, removed some of the propos that I thought were necessary parts of my life, burdens that needed bearing which gripped like barnacles to the exterior of mycharacter, creating fa new silhouette, but not a true silhouette. The stillness gave me space to discern what burdens, or responsibilities I should continueto support,and which ones I could release.
Throughout this time I continued to work, to see people, to manage the house. I just set aside time to walk, and to listen to myself.
The second situation is coming away camping with the children. It’s the first time I’ve gone away camping with them on my own and not meeting up with friends. It’s really good fun, I’m lovingit. My aim, if I have an aim, is to be a much on holiday as the boys are. I’m trying not to cook, and fortunately having mistaken the power drill box for the camping stove box, this has been ade easier for me.
There are few ordinary, mundane tasks that fill our loves on holiday. Plus the change of pace which a holidaybrings, reduces our lives to fun basics: the croissant arrive in the shop at 8.30am; in the evening we sit on one of the beds and playcards; we eat basic nutritious food. Rest is so important. This holiday hasn’t been as revelatory as the walks, but it has been restful.